Ahhhh! My Stylist Relaxed My Hair!

Well, I decided to go to the salon. I sat down in the chair, and my stylist started putting this white stuff on my hair that I thought was conditioner. But I thought something was odd, cause she was parting my hair, and smoothing it out. Next thing you know, it starts burning and she takes me over to rinse my hair, and that’s when I discover that it wasn’t conditioner she put in my hair…it was a dreaded cream relaxer. Y’all I was sooooo sad. All I could think about was how long I had been natural, how in love I was with my naps, and how long it would take me to grow my hair back out. So sad. So incredibly, horribly, sickening sad.

Then I woke up. It was just a dream…well a nightmare really. But it seemed so real. Real enough for me to lay there, in the dark with my head on my pillow and try to get my bearings because I was trying to shake an overwhelming sense of dread at the thought that I would E-VAH have a chemical put on my precious nappy hair again.

It took a few minutes as I tried to shake that sad feeling before I drifted back off to sleep. Usually you don’t remember your dreams, but that one remains extremely vivid to me. I’ve had a variation of that dream at least one other time. And then I also had another hair dream where I was being chased by gorillas through Central Park in New York where every street was Named NappymeHappyme (My full screen name on Nappturality.com aka NP)

Now, as a member of  NP I know that over the years, dozens upon dozens of members have reported having that dream. I think the first time I had it was shortly after I had joined the site and began to become totally immersed in the ideas and principals of nappturality as it is defined by the owner and upheld by the members of NP.  That said, when I started my relaxer nightmare thread, I was unaware that having that dream is a somewhat common phenomenon among members on the site. Most of us are, quite frankly, addicted to the site and visit NP almost every day. As a result, I believe that for many of us, NP creates an obsession centered around loving, caring for and maintaining our nappy hair that eventually plays out in these relaxer dreams.

For many of us, to one degree or another, we all have struggled with our nappturality. I know I did. And it wasn’t until I joined NP and started to visit it regularly that I came to realize that nappy hair and wearing it is a huge issue for many of us — much deeper than I would have ever imagined.  

Sooo then, are these dreams primarily a result of our addiction to this site and our desire to learn to love ourselves and our nappy hair unconditionally. If we’re totally buying into the notion that we are nappy for life and our convictions are unwavering, are we then having these nightmares in order to confront one of our greatest fears. The fear that we might back slide, turn our backs on our natural beauty and go back to living the lye. Could it be that these dreams also serve validate our desire to go natural and reinforce our decision to remain so?

Hmmm… I have really wondered about this for a very long time. I’ve also wondered something else. Now I’ve got some questions for y’all, and I hope y’all particpate cause I am soooo curious about this. If you’re a member of NP, have you had the relaxer dream? If so, did you have have it before you became a member or only after you became a member?

If you’re not an NP member (or you’re a member who visits the site infrequently), have you ever had the relaxer dream? And if  you have had the relaxer dream…why do YOU think you had it, and what does it mean?

11 Responses to “Ahhhh! My Stylist Relaxed My Hair!”
  1. Pfirsch says:

    I am a member of NP, but I had the relaxer dream about a year after I had stopped getting my hair chemically straightened, the summer of 1999. I dreamt that my sister’s roommate had tried to put the relaxer in. She had issues with my choice to go natural; so, it makes sense.

  2. LBellatrix says:

    Hey NMHM! I think this might be the first time I’ve commented on your blog. 🙂

    I had the relaxer dream (as did many of my natural friends) long before NP even existed. I think that this dream coincides with the moment our minds break free of our culturally-imposed fear of our natural hair. Put another way…once we can finally say we’re IN LOVE with our natural hair, possibly for the first time ever, then fear of having that hair taken away from us causes the dream.

    Realize that for most of our lives we’re taught to fear the nap. Once we learn to love the nap, that fear is replaced by fear of the relaxer! This is true especially if we’re surrounded by people who are still fearing the nap.

    Hair is DEEP, ain’t it? “The dream” is a testament to that.

  3. Escoveitch says:

    All I can say is PHEW! While I was reading the opening section I thought that had happened to you for real.

  4. nappyme says:

    Hi and thanks for weighing in. You too…but before becoming a member of NP.

    Hey girlie! Yes, this hair thing is tooooo deep…sometimes for words. You’re one of my favorite folks on NP, and so I really appreciate your insight on this.

    Thanks for the additional perspective.

    @ Escoveitch…Ain’t I a stinker!

    Anybody else care to weigh in?

  5. Sharon says:

    Yea, I thought that it had really happened – however after reading that, I’ve decided I won’t be going to a hair salon ever! The possibility of that happening is just too close!

  6. I’ve had the dream.. I am a member of NP. And other sites.. I’ve been locked for 18 months. My latest dreams (Started at about 12 months.) Is that one or two of them either fall out. They have blood in them.. (Or bones.) Like they are alive.. It’s troubling.. Silly, but troubling. My locks are not snakes or fingers.. There are no blood or bones in them. 🙂


  7. emayah says:

    I had the relaxer nightmare about a month after I bced. I was crying and everything and then I woke up with the worst headache. I think in the nightmare I got into a fight with the beautician.

  8. FearfullyMade says:

    Yes, I had the dreaded relaxer dream about a month ago. I remember I had asked my mother to press my hair and then she actually was putting a relaxer in it. I remember being distraught and angry. Then I woke up. Can you say, *whew*?! It was sort of odd because I really think my mom hates my natural hair. And I remember her actually saying that in my dream.

  9. Eesha says:

    I had the relaxer dream a few weeks ago. It was sooo real. I could feel how flat and lifeless my hair was. I woke with a start and immediately buried my hands in my locs.

  10. AFRODOC says:

    I had that dream early on in my journey. Unfortunately I am ashamed to say that I had longer flowing hair in my dream and I was all happy. 😦 . I guess I have a longer way to go on my napptrual journey to true enlightenment.) It still shakes me a little when people act like I am outrageous or eccentric because I wear my hair natural. I just don’t want to put corrosive chemical in my hair and still be considered normal. MOST of the time I am great, I have no regrets, I love my hair, I look great, I get positive comments. Sometimes… I get a glimpse of the barbie doll loving 5 year old who’s mother and sister told her that she had “bad” hair. (sniff!) 🙂 Does anyone else feel that way sometimes? I guess its the point of the journey, to see our beauty 100%.

  11. Krystal McCray says:

    Well that horrible nightmare for so many of us became a wonderful dream come true for my mother and husband. I went to the salon (my mother dropped me off unknowingly) with her debit card shoved in my hand and asked me to please get a relaxer! It was for her upcoming birthday celebration, which there were folks flying in from all over to come and wish her a happy birthday at this awesome banquet just for her. Well VERY RELUCTANTLY I reverted back to the relaxer. It was not as if I did not keep my hair kept. They just don’t like anything else but straight hair because that meant the hair was kept or maintained because you wer in the salon chair every two weeks and 1 out of that 2 you were ready to dance over to the sink to get the fire on top of your head burned out if you did not scratch before arrival. Well like I said I gave in and they were so happy, my mother and husband that is. I must say at first my hair was gorgeous, bouncy, super long and thick. I was natural at that time for three years straight. I shaved my head completely and started my natural journey from scratch. Then here I was reverting back to the road of pure hell on your HAIR. At first it looked GREAT. I was later very very very dissappointed in myself for giving in. If only I just had it pressed or just a wash and set, just anything besides the ridiculous relaxer. But no I gave in to the ignorance around me. Now its a year later and my hair is not as long, not as thick, its beginning to break, and I am very unhappy. I shared my story with a friend from church and the very next week her head was completely shaved. She remembered that day I showed up at the banquet and she remembered how everyone just though I MUST HAVE ONLY gotten an intense comb and press. They knew their was no way I was going back to getting relaxers. I am so angry with myself. Please help me with any suggestions as far as what can I do from here. Should I shave it once again and start all over? Or can I just try to grow it out and leave in micros, although it can pull and damage our hair. Comments Please I am completely ticked!!! Help a sista out!!! You may e-mail me at: kmccray98@hotmail.com It’s as if those of us with kinky hair don’t know how to appreciate it. Therefore we end up frying it and dying it thinking we look cute, but instead we are damaged, FAKE, and frustrated. Please let me know what you think, know of and have heard. I am a HUGE fan of the popular book KinkPhobia by Ellen Joyce. If you have not heard of it please check it out.

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