It’s Ok to Have Fake Nappy Hair,

But who in their right mind would want the real deal? 

Today, I took my hair down and decided to try something different. The top was styled as usual in about 18 flat twists, which I pull back and tuck under like a bun. Then the back is in regular two strand twists.

Well it was time for those bad boys to come down. I’ma try to make an appointment to get my hair shampooed this week, but in mean time, I was kinda hard pressed to figure out what to do with my hair. Then I decided to take about what had been three separate flat twists and make one big loose flat twist. I did that until I had five jumbo flat twists going across the top of my head. Then I put the back in jumbo double-strand twists. Put a clip in the back for decoration. Looked at it in the mirror and thought. Yeah…that’s really cute. It’s soo puffy you can’t even see the parts.

So I go out to run some errands and end up at the beauty supply store. I’m standing in this isle looking at some product, and this woman comes up to me, really kinda excited and asks, if I have kinky twists.

I’m a little puzzled cause I think, surely she can tell this is all my hair…but then obviously not. So I smile and say “Oh…no it’s all my hair.”

And I kid you not…she took one last good look at my hair, and then said “Oh,” and just started to walk away.

Soooo, I turn around and ask, “Why, where you thinking about getting kinky twists?”

“No, my daughter is,” she says.

“Ah,” I say. “Does she has a relaxer?” I ask. “Oh yes.”

 “Oh, and you can put kinky twists in relaxed hair?” I ask. Now honestly, at this point, I could really care less, but I’m just trying to conclude this conversation politely.

“Uh huh, and it’s cute too.”

I nod and say something like I’m sure it will be, and we both go our separate ways.

Ok… now let me give you my take on this conversation. I swear, (but I could be wrong) that she seemed utterly disappointed that my hair wasn’t done up with fake kinky hair. Sorta like it would have been cool if my hair had been fake, but her “Oh” was too much like “ewe” to me. I’m usually not one to be overly sensative but, really, that’s the way she came across. However, another possiblity is that had it been fake, maybe she would have inquired about who had done it, how long it had taken, how much it cost, etc., etc., etc. Anything’s possible I suppose. But her reaction, including her facial expression and body language when she found out my twists were real was almost one of…disgust?

I say that with a cause I don’t know quite what to make of it.

Now lest you think this was an isolated incident. It happend again less than 15 minutes later.

I frequent this location as a customer enough that I stop and chit chat with a young lady who works there and desperately wants to go natural. She almost always has her hair in extension braids and today was no different. I always catch her staring at my hair, so I ask her about hers. She tells me her mom burned her badly with a relaxer and it ate her hair line out. She lifts a section of microbraids to show me a bald spot. That’s why she doesn’t want to get relaxers anymore she says.

I tell her if she’s serious, to let me know, and I’ll help. We keep talking until I see some customers coming toward her counter. So I say my good byes and let her get back to work. I turn around and end up face-to-face with a woman who asks me if I teach people how to do that. Now by “that” I assume she’s talking about twisting my hair.

So I say, “No, but I could show you I suppose.”

Then she asks, “Is that kinky twist hair?” Again, I’m perplexed for a split second. “What? Again?” I think to myself, but I say, “No, this is my hair.”

“Oh…well then…never mind then,” she says rather dismissively. And I swear there is a slight, ever so slight hint of annoyance in her voice. Now y’all, I tell ya at this point I’m quite incredulous. I turn to walk away and look down at whom I assume is her daughter. “Boy you have some beautful [natural] hair,” I tell her. She giggles, grins and says “Thank you.” I smile and leave the store.

Alrighty then…let’s digest this shall we? 

What the HECK? It’s ok to have fake nappy hair, but it’s not ok to have real nappy hair.   I swear, every time I go to this place, I come back with something to write about. When I run out of ideas for my blog, all I have to do is visit Mid K’s the neighborhood Korean beauty supply store. What a riot.

But really, I’m just speechless. What do y’all make of that? As usual all commentary and remarks welcome. So let’s hear from y’all.

14 Responses to “It’s Ok to Have Fake Nappy Hair,”
  1. Sharey says:

    It sounded to me like she was truly disturbed that your hair was real!I can relate to this story.I did the big chop 2 weeks ago.I went to the beauty supply store to get my Momma a texturizer .Mind you I’m sporting a twa.The cashier says,your going to put in a texturizer?No,this is not for me and she says “hmm”.It’s so sad that most Black people have FON “fear of naps” syndrome!

  2. aulelia says:

    i have noticed that idea as a firm belief in many black women. i think those girls think that because they have fake napps, they can straighten or braid it afterwards they have had their fill. i don’t know if i am right thinking that but i cant help but feel like that.

    whenever i am having a tough day being a natural, i just think about the fake wearing nappy heads and relish in the fact that my kinks are coming out of my scalp!

  3. Sharon says:

    It’s so sad to hear about that attitude in USA. I live in the UK where it seems that the majority of black women are aspiring to become Halle Berry or Beyonce look alikes!! When my hair was relaxed I had plenty of compliments, but since I have my nappy hair (did the big chop last Sunday Hooray!!)which doesn’t shine in the sun, and doesn’t have definitive curls, I have been getting some indignant looks from my fellow black people! However on the brighter side, a couple of my friends have since had the courage to actually grow out their relaxers with a view to do the BC! My own mum is very anti naps which disappoints me the most because she gave birth to me and that’s the hair I was born with!! I remember I used to spend a lot of time in the kitchen getting my hair fried by the hot comb and then desperately trying to stay out of the rain – it rains a lot in the UK! I feel so free and happy since I got rid of the relaxer – and I have no intentions of going back! However I am thinking of putting twists in my hair but I’ll have to use extensions as it is too short at the moment for anything other than a TWA – but the compliments will be far and few between because of this fear of natural hair amongst black people – still in mental slavery!

  4. Nicole says:

    I absolutely love when I see black women with their natural hair…I myself have been natural for two years now! And I love it!

  5. outremount says:

    Perhaps the women thought your hair was beautiful and were disappointed that it was not something that they could replicate with “fake hair”. also I think that many people believe that their hair cannot grow, so when they see someone with long natural hair they immediately assume it is “good hair” meaning they could never have hair like that. Just a thought.
    I’m glad I live in Canada where we have no problems with natural hair. Our problem is lack of hair stylists and products (you can always find pink lotion- yuck). Our products generally cost twice as much as in the US.
    I see natural women everyday, but most wear a TWA.

  6. nappyme says:

    Your explanation is as good as any outremount. I also think they just couldn’t fathom that any grown person would let nappy hair actually grow this long. LOL!

    Girl…the dreaded Pink Oil. Lawd. One of the greasiest hair products on the entire planet. That crap should surely be outlawed. Thank heavens for the Internet!

  7. inmynature2 says:

    Sometimes people are jealous…and for some ‘nappy hair’ is just a style, not a way of life…

  8. Debra says:

    I have female pattern baldness and have been without chemicals for about seven years, instead choosing to be a “faux” naptural–first, with a loc-look and more recently, a Cleopatra Jones afro, which I do by interlock weave. I get at least one compliment a week, from both men and women, and most of them are unable to tell that my locks are not home grown. In fact, when I have ocassionally revealed to naptural sistren that my hair is store-bought, the initial compliment has often turned to a look of disdain. Every woman of color has a hair story; it just may not be what you think.

  9. drew says:

    I have had this experience often, but I try not to be dismissive or condescending when people inquire about my hair.

    One woman thought that I should be able to do the kinky twists because of my twists….

    I don’t know how to weave, I would need an instructional video.

    I think the kinky twists are cute and while we were in the beauty supply store, my son saw the kinky twist fibers and said: Mom, you want to make your hair look like that?

    I said “No son, they want to make this hair look like mine.”

    Arrogance does not accompany my natural hair because I know first hand how difficult it is to maintain it.

  10. nappyme says:

    Hi Drew,
    Well I’m glad I’m not the only one who has encountered such attitudes. That conversation you had about the faking hair attempting to mimic ours is the truth. How backwards to think we’re trying to make ours look like he fake stuff.

    But wow, it makes me a little sad that you find your hair difficult to maintain. I don’t find mine at all difficult, it just has to be taken care of in a way that’s very different than caring for straight hair.

    Dontcha think?

  11. Angela says:

    Trust me, you would be surprised at the number of women who do not believe black women cannot grow long, natural hair. I wear my hair in an afro, and I had only one person ask me was it a wig. Now my hair is not that long, yet I was still asked if it was mine. Aside from that, I get A LOT of stares when it comes to my hair. I think the problem was the women could not believe you had all of that hair growing out of your head, and that your real hair can even do such a thing. For them to act even slightly annoyed showed nothing but ignorance on their part. Trust me my beautiful sister you are not alone, because there are a lot more women like them out here. It makes me wonder sometimes what they really think about natural hair, and its possibilities.

  12. jimmie says:

    is there any products that can thicken my hair or make it more nappy?

  13. joy Messiah says:

    My problem is knowing how to wear my hair natural I am needing help I normally put extension and I am tired I would love to have a good cut and wear it in an afro but I need help in wearing it natural

    • nappyme says:

      Hi Joy!
      Try going a good barber if you’d like a shape up for your fro. Then get yourself some Sta Sof Fro. It really softens up you hair and you’ll get immediate results.

      Good luck!

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