Hair bands are doing my niece’s edges in…

Ok… I know I said I was done trying to educate my niece. But today, she was sitting in a chair, and so I had a bird’s eye view of her hairline. She’s taller than me now so I don’t often get to see the top of her head anymore. And just what did I see? Some very, very thin edges. Now here’s the thing. I had a heart-to-heart talk with her last fall and told her to stop wearing those damned elastic hair bands around her edges. She was using them to hold her edges down AND as a fashion statement. Cute yes, but very detrimental to her hairline as well.

Ok, so I’m looking at her hairline, and I had to do an “I told you so.” My prediction about her hair is coming to fruition. Now if her ass wasn’t soo damned headstrong, she wouldn’t have to deal with having short edges to lay down in the first place. The only reason her hairline was so short was because she shaved them off a couple of years ago because she didn’t like the shape.  One day, I’m looking at her straight on in the face, and I’m thinking her face somehow looks BIGGER. When I ask her about it, my sis yells from the other room…”Tell Auntie, what you did.”

That’s when she informs me that she shaved it, front, sides and back. I ask why. She explains that she hates the really fine hair that grows down her face (we’d call that sideburns) and she hates the hair that sorta grows further down her neck. It bebes up, and she hates that too. (She got all that from her dad’s side cause none of us have that). So she took her dad’s straight-edged razor and shaved everything off.


So now she takes to using these dang elastic headbands to hold her hair down. She’s got them in all colors and widths to match all of her many outfits. I warned her they would take her hair out. Sigh… Mom’s oblivious to alla this. Ok… so add this to the fact that she wants a relaxer and in no time, she’ll be one of those women whose hairline starts behind their ears and has really short hair and HAS to wear a wig/weave/fake braids because of their horrendous hair care practices in childhood.

It doesn’t make sense y’all because I know better, I’m telling her better, but I’m powerless to stop it. I MIGHT mention it to my sister, but I think she thinks I’m just obsessed with natural hair (which I am) but she really thinks that I don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m just hopping mad and really frustrated because the condition of her hair does NOT have to be. I told her today that she needs to ditch those damn headbands once and for all. But I also told her that it was the last time I was going to say anything to her about it. She nodded, but couldn’t wait to change the topic, and tell me about her track meet. I just mentally throw my hands up.

She’s quite animated as she tells me about her first-ever track competition figuring she’s off the hot seat about her hair I guess. I’m thinking what I said went in one ear and out the other. Oh well… I’m sure the next time I see her she’ll have a hairband on. But my lips are sealed… She’s the type of person that has to experience life to believe what you tell her. That is typical of most teens I suppose. The only thing I can do is to give her the information, and she has to decided what to do with it. Her mom should make her stop cause at 13 she doesn’t know what’s best for her. But apparently mom is clueless as well.

I sigh again cause it ain’t likely to get better anytime sooner. If she listens to anything I say, it’ll be a miracle.

11 Responses to “Hair bands are doing my niece’s edges in…”
  1. Mikou says:

    Kids all get to a point where the *only* way they’ll learn is to make their own mistakes. She may kick herself later on, but at least she knows better than many black girls her age that natural hair is a viable and attractive option.

    And maybe she’ll be like me and realize that permed hair is not always as manageable as it seems. I found it to be more work, between trying to curl it or keep it moisturized, time at the salon, keeping it from getting wet, dealing with the damage… And the mental frustration was worse than all that.

  2. nappyme says:

    Mikou… I know… I know… And I did mention it to my sis. And just as I suspected, she said she really didn’t care. I’m not sure I understand that but hey, she’s the mama — not me. So my niece hears me talking about her and she says in a really sheepish voice, “But this one [my hairband] is really loose.” I just look at her and shake my head. I’m not getting why she just has to have a hairband on.

  3. jerseybred says:

    And the women whose hairline starts behind their ears still receive perms-I stopped with the perms b/c I did not want that to happen to me.

    Your niece’s hair is so pretty!

  4. lynn says:

    I am 17 and currently trying to go natural and hopefully get my hairline to grow in. I stopped perming a bit over six months ago and only have 3-4 inches of hair. I was wondering if you knew a reputable site or something where I could buy some glycerin because I have seriously been pounding the pavement and just cannot get my hands on the stuff.

  5. nappyme says:

    Hi Lynn,
    You could try a store like Whole Foods. I’ve seen it there. I’ve also seen it at the BSS. You could also google it and find some place to buy it online as well. I’ve never used straight glycerin. It’s just always an ingredient in the products I buy.

  6. Eesha says:

    Hi, Nappyme. Your neice’s hair is so beautiful in that picture. It’s a shame, but I know where she’s at right now. My mother wouldn’t allow me to get my hair relaxed until I was 16 and I couldn’t wait to be just like everybody else. It is hard, even as an adult, to be one of the only nappies, I can’t imagine what it’s like to be a young teenager these days. Luckily, she has you, most kids don’t have any nappy role models. She probably is listening to you…but some folks do have to learn the hard way. Thanks for leaving the comment on my blog, btw.

  7. CarmenNC says:

    If you would please let me send you (her) one of my little hair thingies – FOR FREE. Stop by my site and pick which ever one. Take care! Carmen

  8. nappyme says:

    Hey Carm,
    Thanks for the offer. I do remember when you first started selling these hair accessories you offered one to me for free, so instead of sending one for my niece, can I take you up on the original offer and get one for me? If so, I’ve alway loved the “Good Hair” one.

    The reason I’m NOT interested in one for my niece is that she’s totally ready for straight hair. All her conversations about hair is about getting her hair flat ironed and eventually getting a perm. Her mom has an appointment for her to get it flat ironed next week and for real I see a perm in her very near future. She’s also at that age where she’s very definite about her likes and dislikes and fitting in and if the other girls ain’t wearnin’ it then she doesn’t/won’t wear it either. So I’m POSITIVE that she won’t wear a tomokatwist.

    When we were talking about her upcoming hair appt, she was so excited. She said she wanted “fish fins and twisties” put in her hair. I’m like what the hell are fish fins? She described it and I’m like ah…so that’s what that ghetto style is called. Well alrighty then. She said when she finally gets a perm she wants to dye her tips purple. I TOLD my sister she should NEVER have taken the kid out of catholic school!

    Ok… so I sent ya an email with my mailing address. So forget my neice, I’d love to wear one myself. They’re gorgeous!


  9. slimbear says:

    does anyone have any suggestions for tight head bands made of some material that does not damage the hair? most of these fabric headbands slide off so easily. i read that cutting across the thigh of panty hose works well, but that seems like it would break the hair.

    also, has anyone tried Miss Jessie’s hair products? they are offering a free value pack for mother’s day after you purchase a jar of baby butter creme.

  10. slimbear says:

    jerseybred, you like keisha cole’s mother. are you sure you aren’t her?

  11. alice says:

    wish i had someone to warn me for having my hair tied back for 6 years… There is no damage that others notice but i think that the hair growth on the top of my head is less than the rest of my head . Now I stopped doing that, i only use jojoba oil to condition it . Do I have any hopes for thicker hair on the top in the future or not ? 😦

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