Seriously, I Really HATE My Hair
I’ve been very sick recently with horrible fever and chills, congestion, uncontrollable coughing, hacking, post nasal drip… OK, I’ll spare you the rest of the gory details; I’m sure you get the picture.
This stupid cold, well the doc called it bronchitis, has left me feeling totally miserable and has made me miss over a week of work. Plus, sweating in the scalp all night for days on end just wrecked havoc on my hair. Thank GOD my hair was in box braids. I can only imagine what my hair would have been like had it been in twists. The matting and tangles I’m sure would have been horrendous. Well after switching out some medication that wasn’t working, I finally started feeling a little better so I decided to wash my braids. That way, I could start redoing some of them in anticipation of going back to work on Monday.
Anyhoo, damn if I didn’t find some new breakage. I just sat there in disbelieve cause I’m like WTH? My hair is braided. It’s not being manipulated at all. How? Why? What would make my hair break like that in a braid. Comon now. Braids, my own hair and sans extensions should be the best protective style there is for nappy hair. If I can’t keep my hair healthy in braids, that leaves me at a total loss when it comes to doing what’s best for my hair.
So then you can understand why finding breakage like this frustrates the HELL out of me. In fact, I’d have to say that this is my BIGGEST frustration and it causes me to have very serious “I hate my hair” moments that last quite a spell. At times like this, I actually have visions of just cutting it all off and saying “F” it. What’s the point. I’ll never have a head full of hair that’s not seriously broken off somewhere for some reason. I mean, it’s not so bad when I KNOW why it’s broken off — like when I know I’ve caused it. But when I discover mysterious breakage, it just drives me crazy.
I can’t blame this on the color because I’ve ALWAYS had problems like this…long before I put dye in my hair.
I swear if my hair would hold a press, I’d just go back to thermal styling and be done with it. Yeah, I said it. When I was wearing a press n curl (didn’t perm til I was 23), I NEVER had breakage like this. Well, OK my hair was never this long either, but shoot I still had a decent length of hair. And what I lacked in length, thickness more than made up for it.
The main reason I went natural was because I was sick of breakage. My nape was good for breaking off and so was my crown. One time my hair broke off from my nape to my crown. When it was said and done, all I had was my new growth and really long hair in the top and sides. I wore a wig, pushed it back and combed the long hair over the wig for a really long time. When I finally had about four inches of hair in the back, I came out of the wig, cut it all even and resumed perming the back. I’ve got TONS of bad hair stories from years of wearing perms. By the time I had an epiphony that my hair was healthier when I just pressing it, I’d been wearing permed hair for 20 years.
Now I’ve been natural for eight years. The first four were spent in micros and the last four I’ve spent learning to care for my loose hair. A good deal of this time could be considered a learning curve. But NOT year four. Year four should NOT be a learning curve. I should really just be able to enjoy my hair. It just seems to me that I should know my hair well enough after all this time that random breakage really shouldn’t be a problem anymore.
I confess that at times it does seem like this aspect of my journey is indeed ROCKET SCIENCE because I think I’ve had just as many problems with breakage as a natural as I had when I was wearing a relaxer. No matter how I baby and pamper my hair, I can’t seem to escape it. I can’t blame this on the color because I’ve ALWAYS had problems like this…long before I put dye in my hair. If I were wearing a perm, my hair would be looking really ragged right now. The only consolation is that my highly textured hair seems to camouflage the missing hair better than my straight hair could. Nevertheless, it has an effect on styling and appearance because breakage further up the hair shaft or close to the scalp leaves the rest of my length looking thin, wispy and anorexic. Thankfully, I’m pretty good at styling around it. But if I didn’t know how or if my hair wasn’t as thick as it is, I’d be up a creek without that cliche of a paddle.
Am I the ONLY nappy-headed sista with this problem? Do nappies like Sera, Sonce, Bright Eyes, and MaestraDiva experience breakage on the regular like this? Their hair is waaaay longer and thicker than mine. Is their hair also stronger than mine? I don’t even think I manipulate my hair nearly as much as they do. So if that’s the case, what’s the key to stronger nappy hair?