About Me

My natural journey into nappturality didn’t happen over night. Although my decision to never relax again happened in a quick “ah ha” moment, I didn’t immediately embrace my natural hair. I wanted to cover it up until I had enough length to wear a press and curl. You see, that’s the only way I knew to wear natural hair, since it was thermally straightened for the first 23 years of my life. So after I swore off chemicals, wearing my own hair out in all its natural glory never ever occured to me for the three-and-a-half years that I unwittingly transitioned in micro-braids. Getting to where I am now from where I was has been a very long process in the making. So just like you, I’ve got a hair history…my back story…my own story to tell. 

I share mine in three parts:

44 Responses to “About Me”
  1. deborah says:

    My comment is more of a question. My daughter is 4 yrs. old and i don’t plan to use chemicals/heat on her hair. She has a slightly wavy loose kink thing going on right now however her hair is very dry. I’ve found that jherri curl activator is gives it just the right amount of wetness to be easily styled and doesn’t seem to dry out as quickly and as much as other “moisterizers”. Have you experimented with that and what is your opinion on using it?
    p.s. love the site!

  2. nappyme says:

    Hi Deborah,
    Good for you in your convictions to keep your daughter nappy. That’s so exciting. I hope you’re nappy too or perhaps considering going natural as well.

    When I first started caring for my hair out of braids, my hair was extremely dry and brittle. I had absolutely no clue how to care for it. Then for some reason I decided to try Carefree Curl products, and I saw an immediate improvement in the way my hair looked and felt. At first I was using a moisturizer and an activator. Then I tried the moisturizer by itself and found that it worked just fine. In comparing the ingredients in the moisturizer to that in the activator they have very similar ingredients perhaps in different concentrations.
    Believe it or not, many nappies use curl products. So if the activator is working fine for your daughters hair I encourage you to stay with what works.

    Thanks for visiting Nappturology 101, and I’m delighted that you like the site. Hopefully, you’ll add it to your favorites and visit often.

    Good luck with your daughter’s hair.

  3. CarmenNC says:

    Nappyme, this is very nice. I’m speechless. This is like a nappy Bible. I’ll visit often.

  4. nappyme says:

    Hey Carm! Glad you like it. I hope you do come back for frequent visits. And good luck with your sister locs. You’ll have to keep me posted on how it’s all going. Thanks for stopping by.

  5. Criss says:

    Hi I am trying to learn more hair style for my natural hair. Right now I have been natural for some time now (6 years or more) and I have tried twist and mostly ponytails. What are some other hair styles that works well with the work place and for church with a hat that has to cover as well.

  6. nappyme says:

    Hi Criss,
    Welcome to NPP101!
    You can also style your hair creatively yet conservatively with flat twists and cornrows. I just complimented a friend of mine that had cornrows going back into a bun. It was so cute. I stopped by her house on Sunday afternoon cause I was in the neighborhood and she was close to running out the door to go to a late day program at church. She was kickin’ it in her white suite. Then she went into the bedroom and came out with one of the big church lady hats. A purple one. Told she needed some purple on so she went and got a scarf to complete the look. Her low bun worked just well with her hat.

    Of course she’s been wearing her hair like this to work as well.

    I have worn a similar sytle created with flat twists.
    If you hair is long enough, you could also just brush your hair back and wear a low puff or create a bun as well.

    Hope that helps!

  7. eesha says:

    Hey, Nappyme. Thanks for leaving the tips on my blog. signed up for the CNappymeNow forum and added a link to your website on my blog. I have no idea why you weren’t on there before, since I lurk here all the time. If it wasn’t for your tutorial on banding and washing, I probably wouldn’t have ever washed my hair again after the first time! Sorry if this posts twice.

  8. Bodhideepa says:

    Wow. I really appreciate your sites’ thoroughness, and I also admire your web mastery (as well as that of Deecoily). I pretty sure my hair is cnapp, am extremely gratified to have even more help with same. Thanks.

  9. nappyme says:

    Hi eesha. Glad you like the forum enough to lurk periodically. Thanks for the listing and yes, isn’t that banding technique the bomb!

    @Bodhideepa, you’re so welcome. And thanks, I’m glad you like the site. And yeah, Dee and the ladies on NP have been quite my inspiration. I’m just glad my little corner of the world is also assisting folks with their nappy journey as well.

  10. Jane says:

    Hello, I am so eager to grow out my natural hair, you my mother told me I have very thick,coarse hair. She also think I will make a big mistake in going natural, but in my heart I want to go natural. This Fall I will be heading to college, and I feel that going natural is what I really want to do. I have a question, for me to grow my hair out since I am very scared to chop it off, is it a good idea to put it in cornrows??, then take it out for a 1month, then do cornrows again?..I don’t know what to do, but all I know that I am transitioning right now as I type and I am not going back to relaxers no more.

    Thank you for your time

  11. nappyme says:

    Hi sweetie. Oh I’m so glad you’ve decided to go natural. I’m also sorry it has taken me a while to get back to you with a response too, but here goes.

    Cornrows are a very good transition style. But just remember that just because it’s low maintenance, doesn’t mean it’s care free. Make sure to shampoo and condition your hair regularly. Opt for a good protein treatment as well. No matter what you do, once you start to get significant new growth, the point of demarcation (you know, where the permed hair and the relaxed hair meet) will be a stress point and become very weak. You’ll need the protein treatments to try to stave off breakage until you get some good length.

    You might also consider microbraids. That’s how I transitioned. If you do be very careful of your hairline cause it’s the most fragil part. I used to leave them in for three months at a time. What I didn’t know at the time though is that I should have had my hairline touched up at about the month-and-a-half mark.

    Whatever you decide to do, just know that you need to do styles that cater to your nappy hair and not your relaxed hair cause that’s what you’re ultimately going to be dealing with going forward.

    If you need more information on transitioning, Motowngirl.com is an excellent resource!

    Good luck on your new natural journey and take care. Stop back by when you get a chance if you have anymore questions.


  12. thethickmadame says:

    Hi nappyme!

    I found your website through Motowngirl.com and fell in love with all your information and humor about natural hair. Also, your blog inspired me to start my own. I like your style!! Keep up the good work!


  13. nappyme says:

    Hi thethickmadame,
    Glad ya found me and are enjoying my musings about nappy hair. Also glad to have inspired you to start your own blog. I too was inspired by one my favorite nappies to start blogging because of her website on natural hair so I know what you mean. So go for it!

  14. I just discovered your blog after clicking through other comments on other blogs (a rabbit hole…. I’m so busy reading others that I can’t get my own launched!) At any rate, I’m in the very first stage of nappiness, i.e., my last perm was about 8 weeks ago. I’m finding my hair to be so coarse and nappy that I’m just about ready to go back to perms because I can’t stand it. I need PRODUCT names that can help me get through this. I live in central Virginia and D.C. is the closest thing to the best nappy hair care that I can get. So to any of you or your readers who can recommend product names and/or natural hair care technicians in the DC metro area, I will bless you for life. You can email me at 1kid2luv@gmail.com.

    I will definitely put a link to this site on my blog. Thank you so much for your resources.

  15. nappyme says:

    Hi Woman in Transition!

    You can try any water/glycerin-based moisturizers. Sta Sof Fro comes to mind as does any curl moisturizing product like Carefree Curl and Wave Nuveau. I also like clear gel curl activators. Right on makes one that I like. Any Pro Line moisturizing product works well on nappy hair. Try ProLine Lite Cream Moisturizer.

    There’s tons of stuff to try so have at it and good luck!

  16. Crystal says:

    I love your site!! I’ve gotten some very practical advice from it. I lived my entire life wearing perms, so I really no nothing about taking care of my natural hair. One of the things that’s giving me a headache is washing my hair. My usually shampoo and conditioner leave my hair dry and so matted together I can’t comb it. I’ve even had to cut piece of my hair out because it tangles so bad (Tangles were bad with a perm now their three times as bad). I’m also struggling with the blow drying thing. I’ve read where you write that heat is damaging to hair. I want to stay away from it, so what if I blow dried my hair on the cool/cold setting? Would that have any adverse effects on my hair?

  17. nappyme says:

    Hi Crystal,
    Thank you and glad you like my site. Yes shampooing can be a nightmare when you don’t have a good plan or a process in place. Take a look at this link,


    It will give you some good ideas about how to save yourself lots of grief when you shampo.

    With regards to blow drying, I don’t see how a cool setting can hurt, but if you’re like me, you’ll become impatient and the next thing you know that darned thing will be on full blast with high heat. I’d say ditch the blow drier altogether and let your hair air dry. You’ll see more about this in my shampoo tutorial as well.

    Good luck!

  18. Rocki says:


    Just wanted to say thank you for the beautiful information you share with the world. I really enjoy your site, and I particularly love the way you share the other sites of women who have also impressed you. It shows such beautiful sisterhood on your part. I did the big chop the other day, (3/5/05), I have 3 inches of gorgeous natural hair to start. Looking forward to growing gorgeous chem free hair down my back.
    Blessings to you for this amazing, inspirational site. (p.s. Yes, I will also join Nappturality)!! Peace & Blessings.

  19. Rocki says:

    The big chop was: March 5, 2008. Not 2005!!!
    Luv Ya!!!!!

  20. nappyme says:

    Hi Rocky. Question… Did you mean you did your big chop the other day on 3/05/08? I think that’s what you meant. So I’m going to congratulate you on recently becoming fully natural. Also, I glad you enjoy my site and look forward to seeing you on NP!

    Good luck on your nappy journey.

    ~Nappy Me

  21. Miki's Mom says:


    What a blessing to come upon this website. My daughter was born with straight, soft hair. I don’t know if I overwashed it (if that’s possible) but it soon started to fall out and new hair started to sprout. Well, it’s been 1.5 years and her hair is still sprouting. I like the natural look, but it has no shape and it is so dry. Her hair swallows the all natural food/grease products I’ve been trying. Miki is 2.1 years old and I need help with this.
    As for me, I would like to continue on my natural journey. My last chemical treatment was in June ’07. I gave in and got some braids 4 weeks ago, but I will not give in to another chemical in my hair. My frustration is much like that with my daughter’s hair, it won’t grow. It’s not dry, but it won’t grow. Please share your wisdom on how to achieve moisture and growth for Miki’s hair and growth for mine.

    God bless you,

    p.s. I am so happy to have come upon your site!

  22. nappyme says:

    Miki’s Mom,
    Hi and welcome to Npp 101!

    Being natural and maintain it’s health and length is about figuring out what’s best for your hair. We all have soooo many different textures of nappy hair, and many of us have several textures on one head. I do, that’s for sure. That said, it’s very difficult to make specific recommendations because depending on your texture, everyone’s hair responds to products very differently. But there are some basics to consider such as finding the correct moisturizers, not confusing moisture and oil. Moisture = water and oil = lubrication. So look for good water-based moisturizers…read your product labels. Stay away from petroleum and mineral oil-based products that can be drying. Switch to non-sls (sodium laueth [laurel] sulfate) shampoos since they can be drying. Find protective styles that can preserve your length and give you an opportunity to manipulate your hair less.

    These are only some high level suggestions. You need to start learning about nappy hair care more in depth. My whole site is devoted toward providing folks with good, solid factual information about caring for, maintaining and styling nappy hair. Please take the time to read these articles…such as

    Hair Facts
    *Ditch the Hair Grease; Is an Oil-free Routine *Right for You?
    *Heat: Nappy Hair’s Worse Enemy
    *Help: My Hair Isn’t Growing!
    *Moisture: Nappy Hair’s Best Friend
    *Top Tips for Nappy Hair

    You’ll find links to these articles on the right hand side of my site.

    You can also join some hair care boards such as Nappturality.com. Also checkout Motowngirl.com. From there, you’re likely to run into additional resources that can get you going in the right direction.

    So, be proactive cause I can’t possibly cover everything you need to know in a single reply to your post. But if you take the time to learn and experiement, you’re likely to find some things that work for you and your daughter.

    I hope some of this helps and good luck!

  23. Jacque says:

    I love this website! You have really helpful resources! Thank you! I added your link to my natural hair directory kinnks.com

    Jacque 🙂

  24. Keya says:

    Hello, My name is Keya, and I’m a nineteen year old girl, who is seeking to grow out my natural hair.

    I love your website. Your posts are extremely well written and I enjoy reading your blog. I have a couple of questions.
    Do you believe that relaxers are dangerous to a person’s hair health? Are you completely against relaxers? How, is you nieces hair doing?

    I’ve experienced a lot of breakage when I used relaxers, but I have to wonder if that was due to lack of care or the relaxers itself. I think black woman can grow out their hair weather natural or relaxed. It’s just a matter of care.

    natural: http://public.fotki.com/lovinglance/natural-hair/so-inspired/chicoro.html
    relaxed: http://public.fotki.com/sylver2/

    I have another question regarding hair breakage: How much hair should come out when you comb it? I notice when I comb my hair my ends break off, despite the fact that I moisturize them. Is this normal?

    Also, have you ever dealt with people that believed that natural (black) hair could not grow past their shoulder?

    Sorry, I’m an overly curious person. thanks for sharing your blog with us!

  25. CallaLily says:

    Nappyme: Thanks for much for stopping by my blog and offering your advise. I was so heartbroken and HEATED at my experience. I thought I was off to a “fresh start”. I have definitely learned from this – never again I say!!! I will keep you updated on how things work out.

    I been checking out your blog for some time now and I do love it.

    • nappyme says:

      Bless your heart; you’re so welcome. Sooo many women have been through the heat damage experience, either because they didn’t know it could happen (raises hand) or didn’t think it could happen to them. Bottom line, it comes down to a lesson learned. And, yes it ends up being a heart breaking experience for many of us because us nappy heads just don’t come by length very easily. For now, you’ll just have to figure out ways to style around the damage — that’s what I had to do — and just deal with what you’ve got. Mine is just a distant memory, with pics taken for proof of the pudding.

      And thank YOU for stopping back by.

      God bless,

  26. funlover says:

    I’ve had my hair permed for a very long time (since 4th grade currently in 12th) I’ve let it go natural and then perm it again…and so on and so forth…Now it’s natural but not completly.Half of it is Nappy and half of it is straight. I’ve worn it in plats for about 6 months but now I’m redy to let it out and free.

    any tips on how to get it half decent looking?
    I’m biracial btw if that has anything to do with it

  27. Thanks SO much for the kind words of encouragement! You now have a new follower…I LOVE alll the pretty hairstyles you have come up with for natural hair.

    I look forward to completing my transition and being able to experiment with my fully natural hair. Your blog is very inspirational.


  28. Poochie says:

    Hello, my name is Poochie, and I am so glad to run across your site. I have had chemical treated hair for years and decided to go natural about 6 months ago. I got my hair cut to very close. I have very kinky hair and it has grown out, but very dry with no shine and moisture. I have bought every hair product you can name trying to find products good for my natural dry mini afro hair. I was using Mane n tail, which I think was drying my hair out. What do you for a good shampoo and conditioner? I am going to try the Sta Sof fro for the moisturizer, just wondering a about a good no sulfate shampoo and conditioner. Thank you for good information and May God bless you!

    • nappyme says:

      Poochie congrats on going natural. You’re on the right track with the sta sof fro. I think you’ll notice immediate results with that. But one thing you need to understand is that very kinky hair does not have a natural shine. But the good news is, shine is NOT all that it’s cracked up to be, and it’s primarily a trait of straight hair. Kinky hair looks best when it’s properly moisturized. You’ll notice a low sheen to it when it is well moisturized. Products like grease and oil don’t moisturize. They lubricate. Water is moisture. So your moisturizers should be water based…not oil based. Stay away from petroleum and mineral oil products and stick with products like sta sof fro and you should be ok.

      With regard to sulfate free shampoos, many everyday brands are jumping on the no sulfate band wagon so you’ll just have to check the labels. Or try googling SULFATE FREE SHAMPOOS. The two that I started off were by Aubrey Organics and JASON brand products.

      Other than that, sounds like you’re good to go. So good luck!

  29. TanaTiara says:

    I enjoy your website it is very helpful I have been natural since Feb. My fiance who has locks begged me to go natural when he saw me cry over my relaxed and VERY fragile hair. I have been struggling through my natural journey. I have very nappy, course hair, and it gets so tangled and matted. I hate thinking about putting a comb though my hair. I recently found that using children’s detangler helps with this 😀 Like you, I am a product junkie. I am trying to prevent breakage because I want to achieve length. Do you know of any products that will help?

    • nappyme says:

      Hi TanaTiara,
      Glad you enjoy my site. Yeah, well welcome to the very nappy coarse hair club. You most certainly are not alone. The best thing you can do is to not fight what your hair wants to do and that’s be nappy. That said, sounds to me like you need to find styles that can keep your hair from being matted and tangled. Problem is our hair craves moisture and that promotes shrinkage and that in turn promotes tangles and if you’re not careful matting.

      With our texture, breakage is not 100% preventable, no matter what product you use. To minimize breakage you need to be gentle with your hair when you groom. That means using a wide-tooth comb, brushing minimally and using your fingers to detangle more often than not.

      But moisture is our friend. So look for water-based/glycerin products. This can include products like proline and sta sof fro. Curl products also work well.Try some protective styles. I don’t know how long your hair is but box braids can be absolutely gorgeous on any length of hair that’s long enough to braid. If it’s longer try twists and flat twists. Tie your head up at night with a satin scarf to maintain your style.

      If you’re taking down your hair from a style, you can use products like braid and detangling sprays that can provide slippage for your strands, which can minimize breakage. From there put your hair in large plaits and braids, if it’s longer than six inches, so that you can wash your hair in sections. The point here is to keep your hair stretched while washing and preventing it from wrapping around itself and tanging.

      When you shampoo, only comb when your hair is saturated with conditioner and then only when your hair is under running water.

      Now if you want to wear “OUT” styles like fros and puffs. You can try braiding your hair at night for a more stretched style the next day. You can also wear twist and braid outs. To prevent reversion, opt for gels that have more holding power and allow your style to last longer and prevent matting.

      Lastly, if you’re experiencing breakage, try pure protein treatments to strengthen your hair. Products like Nexxus Emergencee and Aphogee work well, but follow the direction to the letter to prevent breakage while using the product. In this case, once every two weeks until the breakage stops should be enough. Otherwise than that, you can opt to use products that already have protein in them like your shampoos or conditioners and that should be suffiencient.

  30. Cynthia says:

    My name is Cynthia and I log onto your site from time to time.
    I must admit it is very interesting and for the most part, dangerously true concerning usage of different products. We all have jouneyed down the road that led to some kind of hair disaster and the reason being – “Lack of product knowledge”! I’m sure many companies all claim to have “THE” product that is the answer to everyone’s prayer. I do believe in one product that has proved itself to me and helped bailed me out of several disasters. That product is called “DECCA PLUS” People trust in you and I believe that you owe them this much: To test,use and review the DECCA HAIR CARE line. Email me. I would love to chat with you.


  31. Lashona Bellamy says:

    i’m 20 years old. my temples started thinning at 15 why? they won’t grow back. i am socially humiliated and never go out without a headband on. how can i make them grow? i’ve tried a variety of products from dr. miracles to doo gro and i haven’t had a relaxer in 4 yrs

    • nappyme says:

      Hi Lashona,
      I’m sorry that you’re experiencing this problem. Honestly, you need to go see a dermatologist and let them diagnose your condition. Sounds to me like you have some form of allopecia that causes your hair follicles to cease producing hair and cause baldness.

      But only a doctor can diagnose that and prescribe treatment. So find a doc and go soon so you can figure out how best to deal with your hair issue.

      Take care and good luck.

  32. Natoya - Miss Toronto says:

    I am 25 years old. For as long as I can remember my mother used chemical on my hair. My hair was long and healthy until about 3 years ago. The hair in the middle of my head stopped growing more than a quarter of an inch. Last summer I decided to cut off my hair as a plot to start over. Today, I am still experiencing this problem. My scalp in that area does not feel the same. It is usually itchy and dry. I do my best to eat a balance diet, take vitamins and keep my hair moisturized. I am very frustrated by this. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.


    • nappyme says:

      Hi Natoya and welcome to NPP101!

      I’m sorry you’re having this problems. Please go to a dermatologist so that you can get a proper diagnosis and treatment. Sounds to me like your follicles are producing very weak hairs in that area. Only a medical professional can tell you what’s going on for sure.

      My mom, who is now almost 80 years old had been experiencing thinning hair for years. Then out of the blue her hair started breaking off like crazy. She finally went to a dermatologist who gave her a topical medication to put on her scalp. Almost six months later you could tell that her hair was getting thicker again as well as retaining length from all the breakage.

      Perhaps a good dermatologist could help you as well. But you won’t know unless you go so please do so at your earliest convenience.

      In the mean time, take care and good luck.

  33. Andrea says:

    Wow! I’m so happy to have found your site. It is sooo informative. I am 12 months post relaxer and I’m having a ball discovering my natural hair. I’m 49 years old and had my first relaxer at 15. To tell you the truth I really had no idea what my natural hair would be like! It was permed for so long I could not remember what it was like as a young person. I have not done the BC and have about 7″ of natural hair now. My hair is thick, coarse, 4a some 3c and waist length. The thing that I like the most about this site is that I can relate to an older womans experience. True, we all have some shared experiences, but lets face it, we have different challenges on over 40 hair. Thank you for all your wonderful information. Bless you!

  34. jazmin says:

    I’ve been transitioning for 13 months if you are still looking for type 4 hair transitioning! I’ve done straw sets, twists on my own hair & I started trying braidouts again but I still don’t like those, straw sets are better. I have some photos here if it helps.

  35. Gladys Wheeler says:

    To Whom It May Concern:

    I live in Lancaster, PA I would like to know if it’s possible for you to mail or e-mail an updated list of natural hair
    care stylists within approximately a 50 mile radius, but not limited to neighboring areas such as Philadelphia,
    PA. I have been having such a tough time finding natural hair care stylists who have any idea what I’m talking
    about when I mention twist or rod set hairstyles. Thank you for sending helpful information that you may have.

    My addrsss is 51 Old Dorwart St., Lancaster, PA 17603


    Gladys Wheeler

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